http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_apr2002/CanMan.jpg

http://premium1.uploadit.org/ryften/funnypics2/wrong_reaction.jpg

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/basketball/nba/news/2000/04/02/kobe_fight_ap/lg_bryant_ap_01.jpg

http://www.danvebber.com/museum/artifacts/maakies.jpg

Can't beat whose line is it anyway. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EXTyVPWFk2I)

Yip,you can't beat it. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNpAWIRwQD4)

http://www.xxx-humor.com/files/picture/37516923.jpg

Wet T-shirt..................















http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/Brenjetsfan/jets/wet-shirt-test.jpg

JetNation Tailgate

http://www.manbottle.com/pictures/drink01.jpg

http://premium1.uploadit.org/ryften/funnypics2/wrong_reaction.jpg

JBF likes hockey?

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/Brenjetsfan/jets/160303-sexy_humer1.jpg

http://www.danvebber.com/museum/artifacts/maakies.jpg

SJ - is that an M.K. Brown cartoon? Sure looks like it. She was a cosmic cartoonist with National Lampoon in the 70's and did some of the most bizarre stuff I ever laid eyes on. It was great for the altered states of the time.

http://home.student.utwente.nl/j.m.constandse/flame/will_be_funny.jpg

http://tunapuff.net/images2/fatass.jpg

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b105/gables/bb3c296d.jpg

http://home.student.utwente.nl/j.m.constandse/flame/will_be_funny.jpg

Looks like Bollinger six months from now

http://www.geocities.com/johnniemccoy/acrobat.gif

http://www.geocities.com/johnniemccoy/acrobat.gif

That guy is the Michael Jordan of poop.

http://img56.imageshack.us/img56/3936/extrememouse7kn.jpg

http://www.weird-websites.com/Pictures/Pictures/BarBarred.jpg

http://nerve.fugacious.net/drf/archives/FreeCat.jpg

http://blogs.warwick.ac.uk/images/nicolaclitheroe/2004/11/06/hilarious.jpg

http://puhlfamily.net/bunny_pancake.jpg

http://www.funfry.com/data/559/medium/drunk_urine_street_funfry_resize.jpg

http://www.salon.com/comics/tomo/2006/05/08/tomo/story.jpg

http://www.zmoe.com/misc/suck_internet001.jpg

After that horror show Monday night, gotta admit-Jorge Arbusto is a joke. Was I ever wrong. What's the point-a whore is a whore. Sh!t sandwich indeed. SIlly question-how do you load an image?

http://c.myspace.com/Groups/00000/82/52/102528_l.jpg

http://c.myspace.com/Groups/00001/09/82/1892890_l.jpg

http://c.myspace.com/Groups/00002/68/43/2543486_l.jpg

http://c.myspace.com/Groups/00001/60/19/1569106_l.jpg

http://www.robotcombat.com/video_oldglory_hi.html

For when the metal ones come...and they will

http://i73.photobucket.com/albums/i240/yankee2385/ElephantSlide.jpg

http://www.bartcop.com/cowgirl.jpg

http://www.thehollywoodliberal.com/bushcondi.jpg

http://www.bartcop.com/suck-on-it.jpg

http://home.twcny.rr.com/felicity/popweasel.jpg

http://www.bartcop.com/cowgirl.jpg

You dip****, are you trying to get a perfectly good thread locked and or deleted? Freakin' kids, can't live with em', can't kill em'.

http://img40.photobucket.com/albums/v123/santacita/funny9.jpg

this is the funniest one ever.......

http://img411.imageshack.us/img411/1413/superman8ad.jpg

http://www.neeva.org/media/super_father.jpg

I think this was actually a real one.

http://www.immiscible.net/pics/superman9.jpg

http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/twoface2.gif
http://www.thebestpageintheuniverse.net/images/twoface1.gif

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/hotdoggit18/BOYKINS1.jpg

http://i38.photobucket.com/albums/e126/hotdoggit18/KYLE1.jpg

Why did the banana cross the road?

He wanted to be with the rest of the bunch!

The SUperman/Clark Kent thing-how freaking DUMB are these people that he puts glasses on and he's Clark Kent, he takes them off and he's Superman, and only Lois Lane knows it. No wonder he has to fight all these villians-this is one dumb collection of primates. And somehow, when everybody knows someone who wears glasses and can recognize them either way, they still managed to sell this idea for going on 80+ years.

Why did the banana cross the road?

He wanted to be with the rest of the bunch!

Dude since you set the bar that low I have no choice but to counter you:

Why did Tiger put his head in the toilet?

He wanted to see pooh.

Dude since you set the bar that low I have no choice but to counter you:

Why did Tiger put his head in the toilet?

He wanted to see pooh.
Tiger?

Dude since you set the bar that low I have no choice but to counter you:

Why did Tiger put his head in the toilet?

He wanted to see pooh.

the bar is now resting safely on the ground

Just a reminder everyone, the title of this thread is FUNNY STUFF!!!

http://www.bartcop.com/cowgirl.jpg
http://www.funnypix.ca/d/1360-1/hillary.jpg

The SUperman/Clark Kent thing-how freaking DUMB are these people that he puts glasses on and he's Clark Kent, he takes them off and he's Superman, and only Lois Lane knows it. No wonder he has to fight all these villians-this is one dumb collection of primates. And somehow, when everybody knows someone who wears glasses and can recognize them either way, they still managed to sell this idea for going on 80+ years.


Superman fans..they sure are a weird bunch.

Tiger?
That would be Tigger - you know T-I-Double GRR-R.

Royal Sand Brusher, calling Royal sand Brusher:

http://www.cpmortai115.it/private_cgi/girls1/thong.jpg

http://www.political-comedy-central.com/bush/bush5/BushClown.jpg

George W. Bush




I win

I couldnt find a picture of all you liberals dying horrible deaths.

F-ing sheep.


How's that for f-ing funny?

I couldnt find a picture of all you liberals dying horrible deaths.

F-ing sheep.


How's that for f-ing funny?
http://www.bartcop.com/bush-f-sheep.jpg

I couldnt find a picture of all you liberals dying horrible deaths.

F-ing sheep.


How's that for f-ing funny?
http://members.aol.com/nvpcjock/images/bush_sheep.jpg

George W. Bush




I win
http://www.funpic.hu/files/pics/00008/00008296.jpg

A tip of the cap to Sharrow.


:box:

Nice [X] SJ

I couldnt find a picture of all you liberals dying horrible deaths.

F-ing sheep.


How's that for f-ing funny?


Hahaha. Not only do we have dirty old men on this website, we have HIGH-CLASS dirty old men!!!

Well, I was doing a search for IHOP and I just had to post this one.

http://www.cthb.org/pics/misc/ihop.jpg

http://www.manbottle.com/pictures/hillary%20special.jpg

http://www.manbottle.com/pictures/hillary30.jpg

http://www.manbottle.com/pictures/stainglass.jpg

Bravo DNA... some funny stuff! Esp the KFC sign!! lol

I've met Hillary a few times. Nice lady.

I've met Hillary a few times. Nice lady.



better watch out Bob.... the JetNation braintrust is about to rip you apart

better watch out Bob.... the JetNation braintrust is about to rip you apart
Bring 'em on.

http://i81.photobucket.com/albums/j209/ouda147/onlyinnewyork.jpg

I've met Hillary a few times. Nice lady.
she is actually one of the more well spoken Communists in our country

she is actually one of the more well spoken Communists in our country

Now that is some funny ****!

http://dl2.glitter-graphics.net/pub/13/13228q617ciubft.gif

http://dl2.glitter-graphics.net/pub/13/13228q617ciubft.gif


This is too easy, don't make me say it......got try.....not .....to...aaaarrghhh.

This is too easy, don't make me say it......got try.....not .....to...aaaarrghhh.
Remind you of someone?

Remind you of someone?


If that's Terry Bradway on the bottom, then yes.

Remind you of someone?

I expect "Marko Cavka" to respond shortly....Marko? Anything to say about this?

If that's Terry Bradway on the bottom, then yes.

HAHAHAHA

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i31/GreenDNA/fatass.jpg

http://i68.photobucket.com/albums/i31/GreenDNA/fatass.jpgDude that is f-ing gross man ,I just had lunch Ithink I'am gonna hurl :eek:

sneak peek at SJ's latest invention, the woman remote control. he thinks it'll be cheaper and more effective than diamonds:

http://www.nomarriage.com/remote_control.jpg

http://www.retroraunch.com/samples/retrosample-misc05.jpg

http://www.dailyhappypill.com/Funny%20Pictures/Cool%20album/images/dog_porn_jpg.jpg

Patriot fan:
http://www.dailyhappypill.com/Funny%20Pictures/Cool%20album/images/the_moon_vs_an_elephant_jpg.jpg

http://refwd.ourmemorybox.com/images/X3JMWj9b01.jpg

finally , the pot at the end of the rainbow
http://i20.photobucket.com/albums/b239/jerzyhunter/unknown-1.jpg

SpongeBob:
http://www.killsometime.com/pictures/images/Pic1172.jpg

TomShane's partner spotted on Golf Course:


http://content.funnyhumor.com/pictures/teeoff.jpg

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ9GAsmcJt8&search=butt%20flambe

there's whole episodes on youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JQ9GAsmcJt8&search=butt%20flambe

there's whole episodes on youtube.

Thanks a bunch for that link. Hours of entertainment there. Love it.

:cheers:

3 men were in a foreign third world country and were arrested for no reason by local authorities. They were put in jail and notified they would be executed the next day.
The next day The 3 men were brought into the electrocution room and the 1st man was put in the chair. After surveying the room he was asked if he had any last words. He said 'I am a Notre Dame alum and I have faith in the Lord that he will spare me because I am innocent'. With that the lever was pulled and to the guards amazement nothing happened. 'It is a miracle from Allah they wailed, this man must be spared'
The 2nd man was put in the chair. After surveying the room he was asked if he had any last words. He said 'I am a Harvard Law grad and I have faith in the Law and in the Lord that I will be spared because I am innocent'. With that the lever was pulled and to the guards amazement nothing happened. 'It is a miracle from Allah they wailed, this man must also be spared'
With this the 3rd man was put in the chair. After surveying the room he was asked if he had any last words. He said 'I am a Patriots fan and if you dont plug that cord into the wall socket there wont be any executions today'

http://manzi.weblogs.us/archives/Christmas2005.jpg

I've met Hillary a few times. Nice lady.
Did you Marry, F or Pass?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SDeWJqKx3Y0

Just a reminder everyone, the title of this thread is FUNNY STUFF!!!

Is that why faba hasn't posted?

Remind you of someone?

Is that a Marriott?

"Christians want to believe that Jews came and stole the youngest child from the family and then killed it on the 1st night of Passover. That is totally false. We kidnapped them and made them work for us and that's totally different."
-Lewis Black

http://www.tammisworld.com/archives/date.jpg

Q:
How do you circumcise a hillbilly?
A:
Kick his sister in the jaw.


Q:
Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning?
A:
They don't have balls to scratch.

http://www.thenonstopultimate.com/albums/album24/fist.jpg

http://www.heferito.com/image_folder/redsoxsuck.gif

Patriot fan:
http://www.dailyhappypill.com/Funny%20Pictures/Cool%20album/images/the_moon_vs_an_elephant_jpg.jpg

:rl:

LOL!!! that is a priceless look.

if i may add to this thread, please read my get fuzzy article, always worth it. Infact, i'll change it to a newer one.

How did this thread not get locked? lol

Tarzan And Jane

One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle. She was
very attracted to him and during her questions about
his life she asked him how he managed for sex.

"What's that?" he asked.

She explained to him what sex was and he said
"Oh, Tarzan use a hole in the trunk of tree"!


Horrified, she said, "Tarzan you have it all
wrong but I will show you how to do it properly.
" She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground,
"Here," she said, "you must put it in here."


Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and
then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch.


Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she
managed to gasp, "What the hell did you do that for?"


"Tarzan check for bees first!"

http://www.floridadude.com/Ward-Beaver.jpg

http://img263.imageshack.us/img263/8814/animatedgif4io4.gif

http://img267.imageshack.us/img267/402/ug0055920d4oh4ic0.gif

http://img155.imageshack.us/img155/7122/soccerpenaltykicknq0za4.gif

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v146/deadreflection/2463_startrek-bluescreen-1.gif

http://img136.imageshack.us/img136/4862/15b23574a622868da68616brd2.gif

http://img507.imageshack.us/img507/9128/ug0b8b330f9pl0.gif

http://i158.photobucket.com/albums/t110/orvonton/bellybump.gif

http://www.freemyspacegraphics.com/Graphics/Funny_Animations/images/funny_1.gif

http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/2010/1153190462786xv1xf3.gif

http://img259.imageshack.us/img259/2010/1153190462786xv1xf3.gif

:rl:

http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/passedout_sundae.jpg (http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/Jeep_trailer.htm)

http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/badonkadonk.jpg (http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/mickey_mouse_kick_nuts.htm)

http://media3.guzer.com/pictures/strange_truck_crash.jpg

See honey, I told you it would fit.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/190/493991038_f6172c7f7d.jpg?v=0

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/51/109926120_bfdd67abe9.jpg?v=0

http://www.personal-injury-info.net/images/funny-accidents.jpg

http://thefilter.blogs.com/photos/uncategorized/pranks.jpg

http://www.sport-horses.org/pictures/img/pictures_of_horses_22.jpg

Reasons for the car accident, as reported to the insurance company.



I misjudged a lady crossing the street.

Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

I heard a horn blow and was struck in the back. A lady was evidently trying to pass me.

I thought my window was down, but found it was up when I put my hand through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.

The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intentions.

The truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.

If the other driver had stopped a few yards behind himself, the accident would not have happened.

As I reached an intersection, a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision.

In my attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.

I did not see the other car.

I had been driving my car for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.

I was on my way to the doctor's with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way, causing me to have an accident.

My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle.

I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat, I found that I had a skull fracture.

I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.

The pedestrian had no idea which way to go, so I ran over him.

The indirect cause of this accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.

I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.

The telephone pole was approaching fast. I was atttenpting to swerve out of its path when it struck my front end.

I was unable to stop in time, and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.

I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.

Did you hear about the lawyer hurt in an accident?


An ambulance backed up suddenly.

http://www.popular-pics.com/PPImages/Biker-Accident.jpg

http://www.popular-pics.com/PPImages/Biker-Accident.jpg
can i hear a 'Oh SH*T'

http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/chainsaw_mouse.jpg (http://www.dailyhaha.com/_pics/staring_short_skirt.htm)

can i hear a 'Oh SH*T'
Yeah no doubt. Followed by, Im gonna kill my mechanic!!!!

http://img165.imageshack.us/img165/4668/running0kg.gif

http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/5734/tharnoldsmokespotkr8.gif

http://www.datasync.com/~jrocker/pictures/snowman.jpg

http://img398.imageshack.us/img398/6302/getout7nt.gif

http://img246.imageshack.us/img246/1644/lebowskiip9.gif

OOPS

http://www.funnyheck.com/funnypicture/snowmanbad.jpg

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v117/Nymphomatickiss/PhotoWork/refout.gif

http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f160/deadite1013/yodascrew0mb.gif

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1214/1416490436_6e65eb4c79.jpg?v=0

http://www.wayodd.com/noindex2/funny-pictures-does-a-bear-k1q.jpg

http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/5932/post91155669611mu3.gif

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/117/296449698_d37ca96232.jpg?v=0

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1241/777814296_a721560301.jpg?v=0

Golf For Dummies http://golf-for-dummies.funnypart.com/pictures/FunnyPart-com-golf_for_dummies.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/62/180779423_97fc401da4.jpg?v=0

http://frozeninfire.com/signs/Image7.jpg

http://frozeninfire.com/signs/Image15.jpg

http://i11.photobucket.com/albums/a192/Jaythree666/animated%20general/KidSuckerPunch.gif

http://frozeninfire.com/signs/Image24.jpg

http://img509.imageshack.us/img509/6509/dunkzl8.gif

http://frozeninfire.com/signs/Image10.jpg

http://www.dailybuzzer.com/i/silly_signs4.jpg

http://www.dailybuzzer.com/i/silly_signs5.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/121/262591914_91029959f9.jpg?v=0

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/121/262591914_91029959f9.jpg?v=0

lol that's the raleigh paper

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/31/35434241_1b189de70e.jpg?v=0

http://www.astro.ubc.ca/~jonben/images/animated_gifs/SexyPartyDance.gif

===LANGUAGE ALERT!!!====

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cFlcN92tOUI&NR=1

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U9ORFOVDFjo&feature=related

OH MY GOOOOOOD!!!!!!!! HAAHAHAAAHAAHAHAAAA

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ugz-3Ppd_yg&feature=related

http://www.gifhunt.com/gifs/zoolander.gif

http://www.gifhunt.com/gifs/wedding1.gif

http://www.gifhunt.com/gifs/wedding.gif

http://www.gifhunt.com/gifs/labowsky.gif

http://www.gifhunt.com/gifs/indie.gif

http://www.gifhunt.com/gifs/cosmo3.gif

http://www.gifhunt.com/gifs/cosmo.gif

http://www.gifhunt.com/gifs/alivsterrel.gif

http://www.gifhunt.com/gifs/300.gif

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/Brenjetsfan/Atlantic%20city08/po.jpg

http://www.gifhunt.com/gifs/0smflag.gif

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/Brenjetsfan/Atlantic%20city08/ah.jpg

http://i5.photobucket.com/albums/y176/Brenjetsfan/Atlantic%20city08/beer.jpg

http://www.gifhunt.com/gifs/0kingpin.gif

http://www.gifhunt.com/gifs/bikefall.gif

Max:

http://img152.imageshack.us/img152/3558/alreadylicked1283922845uf6.jpg




SJ:
http://img444.imageshack.us/img444/7878/funnypictureswhyioughtazv5.jpg

Drago:

http://img257.imageshack.us/img257/3245/shhhhdiswher12839136052vs4.jpg

http://img141.imageshack.us/img141/5914/funnypicturesgimmefoodcgu6.jpg



Joebaby:

http://img252.imageshack.us/img252/78/adultholu3qg3.jpg

Mrs. and Mr. Tabor

http://img297.imageshack.us/img297/6153/funnypictureshamsterkissc9.jpg

LOL!! ^^^^


http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t307/FDRX7/decafcat.jpg

http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t307/FDRX7/blocksws0.jpg

http://img521.imageshack.us/img521/8369/funnypicturescatsecondtdm4.jpg

http://img174.imageshack.us/img174/6169/funnypicturesportaltohecd1.jpg

http://img518.imageshack.us/img518/1215/raptorkitteni1283894157og4.jpg

For Greengal:

http://img187.imageshack.us/img187/9004/funnypicturescandycornccz2.jpg

someone is into pussies

someone is into pussies


:winking0001:

http://www.webgraffiti.it/gif/persone/sexy13/sexy127.gif

http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t307/FDRX7/owenwilson.gif

http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t307/FDRX7/lionfunny.jpg

http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t307/FDRX7/inviiblebike.jpg

http://i163.photobucket.com/albums/t307/FDRX7/invisiblecat.jpg

http://stuff.pyzam.com/funnypics/misc/lisa-and-dicks-anniversary.jpg

This is most likely one of the funniest pictures i've ever seen in my entire life. Poor poor ricky manning jr.





http://farm1.static.flickr.com/160/380768094_40b2c7d5da.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/92/238823807_d9d61c5962.jpg?v=0

http://media.geekarmy.com/geekarmy/funny_signs_008.jpg

http://www.boreme.com/media/yr2002/signs-1.jpg

http://media3.guzer.com/pictures/what_way_signs.jpg

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/99/300663152_d31c440b9b.jpg?v=0

QMpUuspjc7Y&hl

YRa9pPqUrw0&hl=en


:rl::rl::rl:

"Danny Tanner Wasn't Gay"

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/108/300663430_3bffa6592f.jpg?v=0

rzsfIA3YKvs&hl=en

Women, its YOUR fault you can't cum. :rl:

Recommended for all males, no females.

http://www.consumershero.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/12/car_accident_15.jpg

http://static.pyzam.com/img/funnypics/misc/3.jpg (http://www.pyzam.com/funnypictures/details/3862)

For Max,

http://farm2.static.flickr.com/1008/606637467_ec70dc9dbe_m.jpg (http://www.darkroastedblend.com/2007/08/weird-signs-part-6.html)

I recently chose a new primary care physician.
After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing 'fairly well' for my age.
A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him,
'Do you think I'll live to be 80?'
He asked, 'Do you smoke tobacco or drink alcoholic beverages?'
'No,' I replied. 'I don't do drugs, either.'
Then he asked, 'Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?'
I said, 'No, my other doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!'
'Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, boating, fishing or relaxing on the beach?' 'No, I don't,' I said.
He asked, 'Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?'
'No,' I said. 'I don't do any of those things.'
Then he looked at me and asked, 'Then why do you give a ****?'

http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/3408/38759058hd0.jpg

http://img120.imageshack.us/img120/1415/75182617mc0.jpg

http://img396.imageshack.us/img396/1110/jerrymarcus2xr4.gif

http://img386.imageshack.us/img386/9466/clownheadbw5.gif

http://img293.imageshack.us/img293/4569/maxxy2.jpg

http://img387.imageshack.us/img387/5012/funnycartoon6bj6.jpg

http://img387.imageshack.us/img387/4324/funnycartoonwomanswishjq9.jpg

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http://img384.imageshack.us/img384/9281/sexistoldadmp8.jpg

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This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.


A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to her class. She Came to the part of the story where first pig was trying to gather the building Materials for his home. She read. 'And so the pig went up to the man with the Wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that Straw to build my house?'
The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you think the man said?'
One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly ...'I think the Man would have said - 'Well, I'll be damned!! A talking pig!'
The teacher had to leave the room.............................

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the perfect day

The Perfect Day - Her

8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day - Him

6:45 Alarm.
7:00 Shower and massage.
7:30 Blowjob.
7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Blowjob.
12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.
7:30 ****, shower, shave.
9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries
11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep

At the card shop: A woman was spending a long time looking at the cards, finally shaking her head, "No."

A clerk came over and asked, "May I help you?"

"I don't know," said the woman. "Do you have any 'Sorry I laughed at your diick' cards?"

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast.
They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me."
She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 436."

Wow, SJ, you're a one man band in here! Funny stuff, tho!

the perfect day

The Perfect Day - Her

8:45 Wake up to hugs and kisses
9:00 5 lbs lighter on the scale
9:30 Light Breakfast
11:00 Sunbathe
12:30 Lunch with best friend at outdoor cafe
1:45 Shopping
2:30 Run into boyfriend's/husband's ex and notice she's gained 30 lbs
3:00 Facial, massage, nap
7:30 Candlelight dinner for two and dancing
10:00 Make love
11:30 Pillow talk in his big strong arms

The Perfect Day - Him

6:45 Alarm.
7:00 Shower and massage.
7:30 Blowjob.
7:45 Massive dump while reading USA Today sports section.
8:15 Limo arrives, Stoli Bloody Marys.
8:30 Butler Aviation, O'Hare Field, Lear Jet to Augusta, Georgia.
9:30 Front nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
11:30 Lunch - 2 dozen oysters, 3 Heinekens.
12:30 Blowjob.
12:45 Back nine holes, Augusta National Golf Club.
2:30 Limo to Augusta Airport, Bombay Sapphire Martini.
3:30 Nassau, Bahamas, Afternoon fishing with all female crew (topless). Sex for each fish caught. Catch 1249 lb. Blue Marlin. Grilled tuna and steamed lobster appetizers, six Heinekens, nap.
6:15 Blowjob.
6:30 Lear Jet return flight, total body massage in transit.
7:30 ****, shower, shave.
9:00 Dinner at Ritz Carlton, Oysters Casino, 20 oz. Filet mignons (rare), Gorgonzola salad, Fettucini Alfredo, Chateau Lafite Rothschild 1963 (magnum) creme brute, Louis XII Cognac, Cohiba Lancero
10:30 Sex with 3 women, all from different countries
11:30 Whirlpool, steam and massage. Women quietly get dressed, hail cab and leave. Midnight Blowjob. Sleep


been dare done that

A man and his wife go to their honeymoon hotel for their 25th anniversary. As the couple reflected on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asked the husband, "When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?"
The husband replied, "All I wanted to do was to screw your brains out, and suck your boobs dry."
Then, as the wife undressed, she asked, "What are you thinking now?"
He replied, "It looks as if I did a pretty good job.

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"
She says, "Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up."
After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! my hands are really freezing!"
She says again, "Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up.
After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through the night. When he returns, he says again, "Honey, my hands are really, really freezing!"
She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?"

Two young lovers go up to the mountains for a romantic winter vacation. When they get there, the guy goes out to chop some wood. When he gets back, he says, "Honey, my hands are freezing!"
She says, "Well, put them here between my thighs and that will warm them up."
After lunch he goes back out to chop some more wood and comes back and says again, "Man! my hands are really freezing!"
She says again, "Well, put them here between my thighs and warm them up." He does, and again that warms him up.
After dinner, he goes out one more time to chop some wood to get them through the night. When he returns, he says again, "Honey, my hands are really, really freezing!"
She looks at him and says, "For crying out loud, don't your ears ever get cold?"


=D>=D>

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=D>=D>


followed with a :rl:

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Creepy.....very very creepy.

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why is it that the men can wear western clothes, swim suits etc, but the women have to be covered up?
I see that here in Raleigh, a women in a burka, and a guy next to her i nbermuda shorts and a panthers shirt :(

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