Belichick, Bill

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Ooh, a check for 1 mill. Just one second, guys, I need to use the little mens room....suckers.
Bill "Hide those damn cameras!" Bellichick was head coach of the New York Jets for one day in 1999.

His hobbies include adultery, stealing from a dying man and masquerading as a homeless man in order to get free soup.


NFL Career


Was a head coach, for a bit. Killed Bernie Kosar's career, and was the main reason Art Modell moved the team to Baltimore. Killed 22 Cleveland fans by planting explosives under some seats at their final game in 1995.

New England

Assistant to Bill Parcells. Got Charlie Weis addicted to Krispy Kreme, thus ruining any chance of Weis getting a HC job in the NFL.

NY Jets

Belichick came to the Jets along with Parcells and was assistant head coach and defensive coordinator from 1997 to 1999. After being promised $1,000,000 to take over as head coach, Belichick agreed, pocketed the check, then ran off back to New England. Leon Hess died soon after, his last words being, "Mr. Belichick promised me it was an honest mistake, and that he'd return the money..."

New England - The Sequel

Won some Super Bowls, owing to snow jobs, corrupt referees and various other shady practices. Currently under investigation for trying to maim players he doesn't like, by arranging for them to get concussions. Recently revealed to enjoy a habit of making illegal films, a practice which recently cost him $250,000. However, Belichick has brushed it off, meaning he's on the lookout for a new victim to steal from. Be afraid.

Personal Life

Shenocca. Say no more.

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